LemmonWind Bay
What a strange feeling it was this morning stumbling upon the LemmonWind Bay blog from a year ago. It doesn’t feel like a full year gone by but I suppose when I really stop and think on it all it feels much longer. That makes me sad a little.
I was out of work at this time last June and collecting unemployment checks that barely made ends meet. LWB was my retreat from the rest of the world and surely a safe haven from the realities of being without a job. I was living alone and happy about that and I knew that somehow things would work out as I had the support of wonderful friends. In the meantime though, my ex was in bad shape health wise and of course all from consuming too much alcohol, and plans were in motion last June on having him move here with me come July. That all came to fruition. 
My choice though, right? There’s not much else to say on any of that except I would prefer to be alone and penniless than to have him here. The only positive thought I can think of is that finances are better, so I focus on that part, but there isn’t much else. Money pays the bills but it doesn’t bring much more.
So, good old LemmonWind …I sure do miss you. Most of time I rode my horse and just hung out at the beach or dropped some flowers and trees here and there….fun conversations always a plus and really it was just surreal overall I guess as things ought to be playing a virtual reality game. And it was. Laughing out loud over the silliest things was a daily occurrence like losing my garden rake up in a tree and not having a clue as to where the heck it vanished to. Or taking a bath and suddenly pop up dancing up a wild streak stark naked because Johnny would forget to disable the duo dance thingy. Sooo funny and just great times to recall.
My time on Second Life now is limited….it’s boring and senseless to me. I sign on only to stand there and stare and wonder what I’m doing there….and then I’m off for days. I always return though even sometimes I hate it there for various reasons and none of which are really valid but I get all pissed off about not having a place to call home to be able to run and hide from everything and everyone whenever the mood set in. Maybe I have too many privacy issues to be involved in anything on Second Life, and I know I’m a bit of a loner in both lives, but I found peace and contentment there because of the fact that I was able to pick and choose my social times and well…my times of solitude. The latter was more the fact. Just too damn picky and that’s because I’m gun shy from all the …well….not so nice people we can come across in real life…just like in second life. So, I suppose my proverbial guard was always up whenever I met anyone new, etc. I never gave it much thought because I’ve always been this way, and it’s part of who I am I guess. Those that know me would laugh when I say I am shy…but I am shy inside even though on the outside I don’t appear that way at all. Perhaps it’s a form of overcoming myshyness by being extra outgoing?? I do try, but somehow I mess it up.
I’m a different person today than I was a year ago and I suppose that’s all part of life and living. If we don’t change or see changes then life would be horribly boring. Sometimes I like the boring. It’s safe and familiar and there’s never a need to fear any form of rejection from any direction, person, place, or thing.
I would have been atop the mountain on LWB this morning over by the singing bowls, watching the sunrise and just unwinding and wondering what new little plants and buildings I would consider setting up. I miss that. And most of all I miss the connection I had while living there in the best of friendships and a place called home.
I’m glad I found you today, LemmonWind Bay. Just know that nothing will ever touch my life as sweet as my time spent there with you…and Johnny….and through all the ups and downs.
Forever grateful,
Spiryt Sodwind
